05 February 2008

The Italian Politics Club

  1. The first rule of politics in Italy is that you don't talk about real politics in Italy.
  2. The second rule of politics in Italy is that you DO NOT talk about real politics in Italy. You can talk about "parties" and have endless ideological debates, but absolutely DO NOT try to actually solve problems by enacting policies. People could get angry.
  3. The third rule of politics in Italy is that if someone can't pass a minor law on whatever minor useless subject, the Government is over.
  4. Fourth rule: at least three or four "parties" involved in any trivial discussion or commission. This guarantees instability and respect of the second rule.
  5. Fifth rule: try to fight at the same time with as many people as possible, especially if members of your own government. This will help to apply the second and third rule.
  6. Sixth rule: try to look and act the same as all your colleagues in politics. Otherwise you will be marked as "fesso" (stupid) and you will be ignored.
  7. Seventh rule: governments shouldn't last more than a couple of years at best. Again, this guarantees rule 2 and 3 are respected.
  8. Eighth and final rule: if this is the first time you try to understand Italian politics, you have to get dragged in endless arguments about the role of the Roman Catholic Church and the Mafia and the Big Money People, to conclude 5 hours later that you are absolutely powerless to change anything and the only answer is a south-american-style secular dictatorship that can kill the Pope, burn down the Vatican, put the Mafia in charge of enacting laws in the South, and nationalise all industry.

Note: this is my last post on the subject.

4 comments:

Simotrino said...

Evil! >:-)

Cristian said...

just fucking true.

martowskaja said...

The effect of the eighth rule is something that italy has already seen...fascismo! nothing to be proud of...

Why is it the last time you will talk about it?

GiacomoL said...

Nah, Mussolini was blessed by the Pope as "defender of the faith" against the "hordes" of godless, baby-eating, nigro-jewish commies. As results of the 8th rule go, it was a poor attempt...
Unfortunately, the opportunity to obliterate the Catholic Church came and went in the XIX century and now we're stuck with it for ever...

Anyway, the rule states that you have to be dragged in an endless debate about it, not that you will actually do anything to enact the resulting (deranged) theories of dictatorship :)